Red Tape Run Around

After three years (married in June 2009), I decided that maybe it was time to legally change my name.  Now seemed perfect since I have a lot more free time than normal.  My first step was to get my drivers license renewed.  With the new laws in Utah I knew that you practically have to give a DNA sample and your first born to get a license.  I went on the official state web site and looked at the list of necessary documents.  I left today armed with what I thought were all the right papers.  Clearly I got a little too cocky about it all. Turns out that even though the web site says that a drivers license serves as proof of ID, they have a different list there which says you can only use a birth certificate of passport.  I brought a pay stub, as directed, to prove that I have a valid social security number.  Too bad I didn't realize that the stub only lists part of my social security number, fail number two.  Final problem, I was supposed to bring proof of residency.  Again, I foolishly followed what the web site told me and took only one item of documentation, my bank statement.  But...according to the nice man behind the counter, two separate items were required.  Are you serious?  There was obviously no reason to argue, I knew who would win that one so I gathered my documents and tried to figure out if I had enough time to get home and back with all my documents.  Since that was unlikely, I headed to the Social Security office to change my name with them.  Let me just interject by saying that I hate the Social Security office.  I used to have to go there regularly for work and I hated it, there is a weird smell, strange people, and way too long to wait.  I got there and found a seat away from the unwashed masses.  During my half hour wait I again got cocky...I had downloaded and filled out the name change form and had my original marriage certificate.  What could go wrong?  After reviewing the documents, the agent asked to see my drivers license which I happily handed over.  He looked at it and said that he couldn't use it because my license had expired.  This had to be a joke.  I mentioned to him the cruel irony that I had just tried to get a valid drivers license.  Clearly today was not the day to get any of my errands accomplished and I am currently no closer to officially being Monica Whitesides.
Monday I need to start over, try again with all my new documentation.  I hope it will get done net week.  Turns out that everyone would like to see my passport - and of course I can't find it!