Gym Tales

I know, I know, I post a lot of gym stories, but sometimes they are just too great not to share. For reasons that will soon become apparent, there will be no illustrations to these stories. My apologies if you have a vivid imagination.

Exhibit Number 1: My friend Susan and I were getting ready in the locker room. We were in a narrow aisle where she was doing her hair and I was facing her talking. A woman came in, stood right between us and proceeded to get ready to shower. The whole time I kept thinking, surely she will just partially undress and then go to the stall to finish. Not only did she completely disrobe (for the modest at heart), but she bent over and got things out of her bag!!! What happened to women being self-conscious in the locker room? I don't care if you're not covered from head to toe, but seriously, how am I supposed to keep from laughing out loud. I quickly left and held in the laughter until Susan called me as soon as she had left the gym. We laughed for a long time. And to answer the burning question, no, she did not have it to be flaunting it.

Exhibit Number 2:Note to the guy in the sauna who clearly forgot his swimsuit but thought that because his boxer/briefs were baggy, he could fool everyone into thinking it was a swimsuit; we weren't fooled! And we were grossed out!

Exhibit Number 3: And finally...I was getting ready and couldn't help but overhear the conversation in the next aisle between to women about all their ailments and the incredible cure found by one. She talked about the amazing supplements that she and her husband had discovered and how they had "changed her life". By the time the other woman asked about the founder of the company and developer of the supplements, I was a little curious. Imagine my shock when she revealed that he was a veterinarian. She said that because he knew how to diagnose deficiencies in animals, there was a direct correlation with humans so he had this "gift". No disrespect to veterinarians, they are lifesavers with animals, but c'mon, you want me to entrust my lhealth to a former veterinarian turned supplement charlatan???

And that, my friends, is why you should spend more time at the gym. Forget the work out, it's all about the entertainment.